interview with Herr Klaus of Die Dicken Puppen: We
enter the Holiday Inn on Howe Street through its Southern-fried
colonnade and up its Harlequin Romance staircase into
the Columbia Room with its Christmas tree light candelabras.
There we meet the Head Canadian Flack from MCA-Uni
Records, who are throwing this little cocktail party-reception
for Die Dicken Puppen. A stereo set on a table hums
out Didipu Muzak, in contrast to the tinny string
goop in the lobby.
Interviewer Person: Mr. Klaus?
Herr Klaus: Hello? Yes?
IP: Can I record this - I'm going to try
some way to get it on the Internet.
IP: How long have you got?
HK: Um about 20 to 25 minutes
IP: Alright, uhmm, so what do you think of
all this (flack cocktail party routine).... doing
this kind of stuff?
HK: I'm used to it, believe me, I'm used to
it. First time I came over to Los Angeles when it
all sort of happened, I just met so many people like
this... I'm immune to it now.
IP: Why do you still do this? Is it no peace
for the wicked? No rest for the damned? No sleep for
HK: Because it's my life. I can't imagine
doing anything else now. Intellectually I know there
was a time in my life when I wasn't in a rock and
roll band but I can't remember what it felt like.
IP: No regrets?
HK: Well, I do have always wished for this,
but there was a time when it seemed to be almost turning
into more of a nightmare than a dream. I mean, everybody
wanted to ride on our fuckin' coat tails.
IP: What's so bad about being a star?
HK: I couldn't go out anymore and play basketball,
because everybody knew my fuckin' face. All I wanted
was to have a career in music and now I had to deal
with so much shit! There were people coming to my
house, knocking on the door. Either they wanted autographs
or they wanted to fight. It was fuckin' crazy! (Accidentally
knocks over his glass of champagne on IP's pants)
IP: Shit, I'm all wet now.
HK: Sorry. I sometimes get very emotional.
IP: Shit, man, these pants were new!
HK: Hey, I said I was sorry.
IP: Doesn’t help anything, does it?
HK: Aww, come on!
IP: (mumbles and collects all napkins within
HK: Can you not just ask the next question?
IP: Whatever. (Checks his notepad) How's
HK: Oh God, Ibiza. Are you trying to offend
IP: What? Why? You spent some awfully successful
HK: Yeah, I know, but looking back it seems
like a big joke. You know, just bumping around as
if there's no tomorrow, and using all those awful
sounds... Maybe there'll be a time when I can appreciate
our output from that time, but it's gonna take a couple
IP: Hey, I've gotta put some dry clothes
on, sorry. You know, I've got this sensitive bladder
thing and if I stick around any longer like this I'll
be in serious trouble by tomorrow. Will you still
be here in 15 minutes?
HK: Well, actually...
IP: Never mind. Thanks for the interview